A wet September saturday

19/09/2020

I had to write it down quickly before this beautiful morning hurtled towards past into the realm of memories like a Japanese bullet train. I want the exact feeling written down. Perhaps to look at much later, read and shed a silent tear like one does for many things past.

Some mornings just melt into your skin and make it shiny and sticky like caramel does. Today was one such. Waking up to the lightest of drizzles, a nice walk with a good friend with who silences are not uncomfortable, a trip to the tea shop to have an early breakfast of melt in the mouth bread omelette, ginger tea and a warm but slightly rubbery samosa (which I don’t mind in the least), feeding the strays and then some light conversations about this and that of daily life.

Then there is my girl Maya. We went for a walk, some sniffing and chewing on grass and running about in the park and a hearty poop. All this is her. Not me. I did not eat grass or poop on it. Then a visit to her other grandma to collect her quota of three marie biscuits. She was quite pleased with herself after all these achievements along with a bit of trying to scare the cat. Misplaced joy I am afraid because the cat did not appear the least bit scared. It just had scorn written all over her smug cat face.  

After the walk I decided not to come home but tie Maya to the handle of the park bench and sit back and read for a while. It was such a peaceful hour that I spent there. The goose bumps and an occasional shiver when a powerful draught of wind comes my way was rather unusual for our city. Pigeons ambled along slowly in the puddles, watchful for any sudden movement from me, Maya or the cat…then one of them drank some water from the puddle. A man came to his balcony, yawned and stretched and suddenly saw me down looking straight at him and gave an unsure smile and hurried home inside. I did not mean to stare at him. He was just in my line of vision. I felt bad for having spoiled his moment.

Same sights can give different impressions on different days. The rains made everything appear languid. There was a wetness hanging around, that kept poking me. Pleasantly. Leaves were weighed down by water droplets and hopes of a good monsoon. They were biding their time patiently for sunlight to fall on them. I wanted to tell that it wasn’t going to happen today. Perhaps they knew already! Plants and animals seem to know way more than us.

The security guard manning the apartment entrance sat quietly listening to something on his mobile, and the guy who irons our clothes regularly waved to me. A child was brought for a walk by her dad. A tiny girl in a woolen cap and mask…all covered up. She followed him around for a while and had a tiny green umbrella which has something protruding from the top. They could be interpreted as ears or horns. For me it looked like horns. She sat in the bench next to me. It was an extraordinarily quiet and peaceful looking kid for her age. I normally don’t smile at kids because usually I find kids quite confusing and sometimes annoying. I prefer to avoid talking to them because most of them have a tendency to incessantly question you. Most often I am not sure as to how I should talk to them. I can’t do ‘kid speak’. I find that style of talking very silly. And If I talk like an adult they might not understand or worse still, it could scare them.  When this particular one looked at me, I gave a smile which was reciprocated. As both our mouths and noses were covered with the mask it was the eyes that smiled and spoke. I realized that she was as averse to familiarity and conversation as me because she averted her eyes even before both our smiles had faded. It was not an uncomfortable smile for either of us but both of just wanted only so much. I really liked the child. I wished that the screaming kids in my corridor would take a lesson from her on how to acquire some quiet grace. Then a few acquaintances walked by. Maybe my reading glasses put them off from picking up detailed chats. It was nice of them. It was truly a ‘leave-me-alone’ kinda day.

It was a cool feeling where my body melted into space and the skin was not limiting me… where universe flowed in and out through me. I was permeable. A feeling of uncontained physical existence. Inexplicably free of past, future, and worries like what to cook for lunch or how to avoid guests. Just the wide, vast…now! Now! Now! Now! It was all about the now. The moving carpet that I stood on every day, every waking hour was almost steady in the now and I did not have to struggle to hold the balance

Maya let out tiny whimpers but sat quietly watching me furtively now and then. Perhaps because it was not a routine day for her…nor was the place of rest the usual one. When I smiled at her, I think she felt reassured and she licked her nose and went back to chewing on her paws. I had carried the book to read which had about 50 pages left to be read. The book fitted the day beautifully. It was light, but not silly, with an endearing female protagonist who would be remembered for a long time. She would hang around with Bathsheba, Tess, Ella, Zooey or Miss Saeki in my heart. In this beautiful magnificent morning with a full heart I finished reading the lovely book and I floated back home in a cloud of contentment!